Obsessing over: Nothing.  Something about the holidays and being monumentally busy has left me with only the energy for contemplation of important things, like if i have enough cherry pie for breakfast, or if i’m going to have to add some candy to it to be full. You know, the really important things in life, especially amidst January’s Resolutionville of Health.

Working on: Finishing (and by finishing, I mean starting) writing for our new website.  My mind gets all tangled up somewhere between having many ideas and executing only one of them in a decided direction; it starts getting rather choppy and mangled, as if my cell phone reception has gone on the fritz.  The cell phone reception in my brain, in case you didn’t get that particularly fantastc metaphor.

Because I can, I became a joiner and decided to partake in FatMumSlim’s photo a day…thing…for January.  She calls it a challenge, but I think to myself: how challenging is taking a photo with my phone every day?  If that’s challenging, then I really need to reevaluate my life trajectory.  But, whatever you call it, I thought it would be interesting to do this month, and I certainly like projects that don’t last outside of January, as do most of my resolutions.

If you join (and you should, really, i SWEAR it will be something resembling fun), just take a photo, upload it to wherever you are (i find instagram to be the easiest photo-sharing place, however) with a #janphotoaday hashtag, which hopefully will not be confused with some extremely frustrated lady named Jan’s quest to take a photo of the day, her plans thwarted by the internet once again.

I’m @saradarling on Twitter & Instagram, so come follow me; I will take you for ice cream.

Thinking about: How I feel like January doesn’t really start until the second week, at least mentally.  The first week finds me making lists, sorting things out and generally wandering around working, for sure, but not terribly sure on what.  It’s the Bermuda Triangle of calendar days, I tell you.

Anticipating: Book club tonight.  I joined a book club, FINALLY, not because I didn’t want one for ages and ages, but because I just couldn’t find one.  Seriously.  Everyone who has a book club they adore, don’t tell me because I swear they don’t exist in my town!  Until now.  I have to feverishly catch up on my reading, as I do not want to be the new girl on the book club block who hasn’t deigned to read the selection while everyone frowns at me behind their finger food and bookmarks.  Book club shun sounds terrible.

Listening to: Nothing, which reminds me that it’s a little too quiet this morning for my taste.  How about…Radical Face, which despite having a particularly un-radical name, sounds fantastic to me this morning.  This song especially.

Drinking: Nothing yet, but waiting on some tea.

Wishing: That my taste in things and my abilities matched up just a wee bit more.  It’s painful to realize how sucky your very best is at times and to be patient and persistent to make them better over time.

{christmas presents for the boy | december 2011}

What are you…

Obsessing over: Both where we want to go with our business next year and how I’m going to wrap Christmas presents this year.  I tend to like packaging way, way too much for a healthy person a lot, so it requires thoughtful consideration.

Working on: Designing and producing a Christmas/New Years present for some of our clients.  I’m super excited and want it to turn out really well.

Thinking about: How to cook all of the squash we got in our CSA.  Our CSA is great, but in the winter it’s like squashapplapalooza.  Also wondering when I will outgrow being intimidated by people I perceive to be way more cool than I can even think about being.

Anticipating: A dinner party that I’m planning that won’t be for two months.  And lots of pumpkin pie this weekend.  I fully intend on “gobbling until I’m wobbling.”

Listening to: The Fuel/Friends Autumn Mix 2011: Nothing Gold Can Stay.  It’s free and you should download it immediately, if not sooner.  And if you like great music you’ve never heard of and some illustrative writing, bookmark this blog to put in your reading rotation.  Seriously.  Also in heavy rotation at the Fixer Design offices: Feist’s Metals, Florence + the Machine Ceremonials.

{ don’t you love this virtual cover for the mix? designed by ryan hollingsworth for fuel/friends }

Drinking: Plain, unsweetened, decaf iced tea.  My favorite, year-round.  Also, because it’s come up several times this past week: No, I seriously don’t like coffee.  I have never liked it.  In anything.  Even when it’s 90% sugar, I taste something and think “hmm, that sugar was sweet, but what’s that bitter taste happening in my mouth?”  It did not change when I lived in Seattle, and it did not change when I was a first year teacher, and the outlook looks grim.  Hear that, former boss who gifted me a giant Starbucks gift basket after I worked for you for four years?  I. don’t. like. it.

Wishing: I had equal parts laser-like focus + patience for the things I have to do and that I could create all of the things in my head with my own skills and hands.

what are you obsessing over, working on, thinking about, anticipating, listening to, drinking or wishing? 

do tell me in the comments…

so, in that spirit and because i’ve been too busy to write, here’s the reader’s-digest-condensed-version-of-things-happening-right-now.  catchy title, eh?  you can see why people pay me money to communicate for them.

1. here’s the answer to the question i’ve gotten about 8 times in the last month as school has returned to session: no, i am not teaching this year.  i may not teach next year.  at this point, teaching (as i’ve known it in the public school classroom) is going on a high bookshelf — still accessible and visible, but not going to be pulled down anytime soon.

2. here’s the answer to the second question i’ve gotten about 8 times in the last month immediately following question # 1: what am i doing now?  i am copywriting.  the boy’s graphic design business, fixer design, has expanded to include me full-time since january.  he’s art; i’m copy.  i copywrite (which is writing primarily for advertising pieces, marketing campaigns, website marketing, etc.), copyedit (wherein i make what other people write sound all nice and pretty (or angry and disturbed or whatever it is they are going for), proofread/edit (wherein i get to fully embrace my anal-retentive and annoyingly nit-picky fastidious and detail-oriented side and make sure all the commas are not spliced and semi-colons used appropriately), grant write (wherein i…um…write grants), write (articles, websites, tweets, letters, etc.) and then generally collaborate with our art director on various other things like naming companies, editing the design work, making dinner, paying bills, and riding bikes.

note: the art director is my husband, otherwise things just got weird for you.

this week: we’re naming a company and i’m copyediting a few different things.  funsies!

3. i love my job.  i love that i’ve been able to do it since january and hope that it continues to be so by the supreme grace of god.  i love working from home in my office, i love being able to change my schedule around, i love being able to walk to the gym, i love working with the husband.  it should be said, however, that work love is not all that dissimilar from relationship love, in that it comes with all the signature issues: i don’t FEEL happy/joyful/amazing towards/about my job every minute of the day.  the job makes me doubt, wonder, fret about my ability to do my job well.  it’s challenging on a consistent basis.  i often feel as though i don’t know what i’m doing or if the job will stop. (now, tell me this doesn’t look exactly like a typical love-relationship?)  good and bad, it’s what i’m doing now and i’m quite contented with it.

and if you need a writer/editor and/or a graphic designer, or just someone to help you transfer your music files from your hard drive to your computer (hi meg!) — you know who to call.

4. football camp.  i work out twice a day, 5-6 days a week, and have been since the 4th of july.  it’s going well, in the sense that i’ve learned to take the middle path (what some might call balance and not beating yourself up terribly because you had two cupcakes at the baby shower you went to because they went well with the cookies you had on your plate).  it also means recognizing those actions as exceptions, and not rules.  explaining, not excusing.  being merciful to yourself.  and much healthier.  and i have a very cute running buddy, so that helps.

note: the running buddy is my husband, otherwise things just got weird for you again.

in order to not get bored, my workouts consist of the following: walking, jogging (increasing my endurance as my ankle is STILL recovering from the puffyfoot ankle incident in april), spinning (or bicycling-nowhere as my friend calls it), weights, elliptical machines, zumba, kickboxing, yoga, and annoying workout videos from people on television.

eating-wise, since that is such an interest of everyone (including me, i suppose), it’s probably about 85% paleo, and 15% let me have a freaking tortilla, kashi and a bit of raw-milk cheese for the love.

and, the occasional cupcake and frozen yogurt.

5. whatever marketing-trend-force that made frozen yogurt come back into vogue, prompting about 6 frozen yogurt places in town to open up: THANK  YOU.  i will totally give you my first born child.

6. i’m not pregnant.  don’t even ask.

7. the current book i’m reading for my virtual book club is this one.

8. we just threw a baby shower for my friend Sarah who is having identical twin boys in another few months, and it was so much fun.  i left all the details/planning/food organization to my friend Ashlee of Smash Events, and got to do what I love best: design & decor.  and lots of cleaning of the house to host 16 people.  more on that when i get pictures from ash, because of course i didn’t take any.  what gives?

9. we aren’t really buying anything we don’t need right now in an effort to pay some things off, so i refuse to buy clothes until they are in a smaller size right now and can be justified as a need.  it should be noted that shoes, accessories and jewelry DO NOT fit in this category, because i am the queen of loopholes.

10. i feel very adult because we actually have and are in the process of sorting things out like our IRA, savings, emergency fund, paying off debt, selling the jeep, looking into health insurance.  these things feel very satisfying to do, but also make me uneasy.  i’m still figuring out why the uneasiness…any thoughts?

11. we borrowed a monstrous fan from my parents to blow the a/c air from my office into the giant living room to cool it off and it worked AMAZINGLY.  why didn’t we do this before?  downside: it sounds like my office is a runway for jet airplanes.

12. speaking of adult things, we actually got excited when we came upon a new furniture layout for our living room which we will implement in winter when we don’t store our bikes by the front door.  seriously, that’s the lamest sentence i think i’ve ever written.

13. the boy hates costco, but can be begrudginly convinced to come with me only on sample weekends when he can eat his way through the store.  this is good for him (and me), because it lets him gain back 1/2 pound from the ridiculous amounts he seems to be losing by participating in 1/2 of my football camp regimen.  i’d hate him for that, but he’s so cute and tall and gets excited about new furniture layouts.

14. my cousin lauren just moved to town and she’s opening up a lululemon athletica showroom downtown.  you should have her explain what it is, because it’s all sorts of awesome.  if you are into nice people, changing the average into extraordinary, yoga, being healthy, other healthy activities, awesome athletic wear…you will love it.  and my cousin is just the nicest person you’ll ever meet, too.

15. i have been really enjoying spending time with my family, and i miss my sister who has moved even further away than my parents are (although still in the same town).

happy monday, all.  tell me something nice.

these bikes are drool-magnets.  everywhere we go, and i’m totally serious, we get people coming over to admire our bikes.  it’s one of those things we lucked into (not really being bike people, we just knew we liked old bikes and we wanted cruisers that were in good shape without spending a bunch of coin) without really understanding the deal we were getting.  at the bike shop this last time, the owners were telling us how much the mechanics were drooling over the bikes, and while i was testing out the bike’s new capacities, another couple mentioned how beautiful she was.

SCHWINNING, people.

two. went to the grocery store, per usual.  always wonder how my “short” list of a few things winds up to be about $80.  inwardly laughed at the checkout line, because the people in front of me had the polar opposite of carts as i did.  (i.e. if i was buying watermelon, they were buying watermelon-flavored jolly ranchers).  the parallels were bizarre and funny.

but only to me, because apparently when i’m in a grocery store with about 9,678 other people, my brain starts to overheat and i start looking for the nearest exit, and apparently things become either really funny or horrendously bad in the store.  funny is always the better option.  also, turns out you can get coke icees at the store to cool you down while you wait IN LINE IN THE DAIRY AISLE because someone is having a decision-making disorder about yogurt.

sluuuuuuuuuurp.  you take your time, lady.

three. cleaned the house, and amazed ourselves at the fact that we could literally re-stuff a teddy bear with the amount of dust we collected.

yes, literally, and not figuratively.

because i know the difference.

four. had a lovely movie night with good friend meg & lee, who are wonderful sports despite the fact that we continually subject them to watching our oscar list movies.  the oscar list, if you recall, was our attempt in the year 2008 to at least begin watching but withholding veto power for westerns and some musicals watch all of the movies that won best picture oscar.  of course, we weren’t foolish enough to think we’d get it done in a year, and gave ourselves double that time, 2 years tops, to complete the list.

3 years later, and we’ve made it through about 1/4 of them.

so, with as much gusto as we can muster and our netflix queue all lined up, we began again.  with buddies, of course.  we watched the 1955 best picture oscar winner Marty, ate way too much chocolate, ate popcorn and talked throughout the movie (but in a good way).  marty was good, although i find myself getting very sad for characters who try very, very hard and get crapped on by everyone.

i will be very sad when they move to the north side of town, because then the ice cream will get all drippy on the way to their house for movie night.

first world problems, my friends, first world problems.

five. i got some delicious chocolate frozen yogurt.

six. i planted my dill, basil and chives in their indoor pots, and can hardly wait the 10 days it will take for them to show some life.  i hope they aren’t DOA or inedible.  i also repotted my burrito plant (seriously, that’s it’s name) in some soil more suitable for succulents (alliteration!  yay!) and got the boy a new plant after the atmosphere of his workspace (read: cave) killed the little stegosaurus-looking plant he had.

seven. had business therapy at the design ranger’s house, wherein we met a few of their friends who were DELIGHTFUL, and got to sit around and discuss small-business-owner-lamenty-type-things and eat way, way, way too much delicious food.

i find that i actually eat rather well during most weeks, but give me a buffet of food out at a friend’s house, and i can’t seem to shovel the food in my mouth fast enough, far past the time that i’m full.

and then i tell the boy to bring me more dessert.

and then i moan all the way home.

and i tell him that i’m never, ever AND I MEAN IT THIS TIME going to eat food ever again.

and he just shakes his head at me.

eight. i went for a walk/jog (couch to 5K program, usually love it) saturday morning in monument valley park, which is my favorite for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that it’s one of the flattest trails in the city.

although i felt great after it (never during; those people are crazy who say that…crazy, or in shape) my ankle was not so happy and proceeded to remind me of that all weekend long.

sigh.  so, we’ll try again in another month, and instead just sign up for more spinning classes.

nine. 3-day weekend…sort of!

being self-employed, and with the workflow we have right now, you can kind of take a 3-day weekend whenever you darn well please.  if i’m having a particularly non-focused friday, i end up with a de facto 3-day weekend.  so, tomorrow being memorial day is definitely observed — in terms of recognition of purpose and service — in our house, but not observed in terms of taking the entire day off of work.  so, we split the difference: spin class & work in the morning, and a birthday barbecue and a fantastic dinner with our friends over at art in love, jeremy & liz.  our menu consists of burgers, burgers, and more burgers.  and things that go with burgers.  and dessert that follows burgers.

i really like burgers, and we’ve defrosted some excellent bison, crumbled some blue cheese and i’ve been trolling the internet machine for tasty burger recipes.

post script: the weekend actually ended up with a no-go on dinner with friends and a birthday barbecue courtesy of a serious lack of focus + mounting work to do, 1 rib that has been going out for weeks now and a pinched nerve in my lower back.  big bummer.  it’s been one of those kind of days.  and the spin class we went to monday morning sucked, because it’s really fun to be shouted at for an hour on a bike.

ten. it got so hot on sunday that i know that the air conditioner in the window time is imminent.

i can’t say that i love HOT weather.  i prefer the springtime sun, and the fall crisp…but whatevs.  i’ll just plan on getting out in the early morning and late evening and hole up in my office-cave during the day.

i like my sunshine with a side of cool, breezy air.

bon weekend, indeed. [minus the lame monday part]

*all photos linked to original source, except for the schwinn which is by yours truly.

i have so many things to say, to think about, to write about, but they are all bouncing around my pinball head (pinhead?  hmm, i don’t think that’s right) at subatomic speeds and i can’t seem to slow down enough to capture them and write them all down.

[side note: do you listen to car talk?  you really should.  at very least, you would understand the title of this post.  but, perhaps you have better things to do with your time.  things like reading inane blather on blogs. wink.]

anyway, on this monday, even after i’ve gone to the gym for the first time in a month since the terrible treadmill puffyfoot incident, i am still very lethargic.  here are some things getting my dragging muffler through the day:

1. chobani greek yogurt

this is my current go-to breakfast now that it’s getting a bit too warm for oatmeal for me.

2. the moth

stories.  good ones.  not too long.  from real people.

sometimes, just sometimes, i don’t want to listen to music.

i just want someone to tell me a story.

3. lilacs

the lilac bush in front of our house is in bloom, and it smells so good i will almost volunteer to take the trash out because i have an excuse to walk right by it an extra time during the day.

we’ve had some great spring breezes recently, and it carries the lilac scent down the road.

i like to cut a few and put it in a bowl for my desk.

it’s like dessert for my nose.

*    *    *    *    *

happy monday, loves.  what’s getting you through today?

what’s going on this week:

1. tuesday night girls group. 

we started all getting together, this small group of girls who knew some people well and others not at all.  we got together because we loved god, loved life, loved friendship, but didn’t love any of the contrivance that occurs when any of those things are forced.  we tenuously committed to coming, wondering when it would all fall apart due to busyness and families and the ebb and flow of life.

that was over three years ago.

this group is one of my most valued possessions.  i’d definitely grab this as i ran out of a burning building.

2. candy cane.

i trade in the trusty but annoying crutches which have been my constant companion these last two weeks for…a cane.  and then we’ll celebrate my 87th birthday.   our second family, the billigs, are coming down to spend some time in town and mr. billig will be lending me a cane to aid my hobbling around.  maybe mine will be made of peppermint!

3. grant-writing.

i’ve been getting into grant-writing as of late, and although it makes my head spin and make me feel not unlike a blindfolded dart player, i really like it.  if the next few months goes well with this organization i’m working with, i may have a regular thing with it to complement my copywriting i’m doing as part of our company, fixer design.

working with my husband is a blessing, and i tell myself that EVERY.DAY.

4. zeitoun.

since i couldn’t seem to procure a local book club, my oldest friend (in terms of time, not age) erin decided to start up an online one.  so far we’ve read two books together, but this last one i couldn’t read because somebody at the library didn’t turn their book in on time.  we’re on a book-buying hiatus right now (the worst first-world problem EVER and so i am at the mercy of the library patrons.

serves me right, however.  i have seriously bad library karma and you would blush if i told you the amount of library fines i’ve accrued over the years.

i’m going to see if i can somehow speed-read it in the next few days and catch up with my book group before the next one.

5. confessions.

some very good friends and i used to have a private message board with each other on which we posted (among other things) these terrible confessions, embarrassing and deeply lame things we did/do.  it was hilarious and cathartic, and talking about my library fines over the years reminded me of that.

of course, most of the time these were things you don’t want shared at dinner parties but don’t mind saying out loud.

the real confessions hardly ever happen like that.

6. racquetball.

not me, of course.  an entirely enclosed room with people with racquets who swing hard at a little rubber ball that ping pongs off the echo chamber and hurtles towards my head is definitely the sport played in my 7th circle of hell.  my brother, though, loves is.  well, he loves any sport he can be competitive at, and a few non-sports too.  he and the boy will be playing racquetball tomorrow at 6:30 in the a.m.  the boy is deceptively sporty and my brother is competitive, so this should be an interesting morning.

7.  faux-range julius.

i’m combining clementines, coconut milk and a little vanilla in the blender tomorrow in an attempt to make my version of an orange julius.  i’ll let you know how it turns out.

8. easter.

totally snuck up on me this year.  it’s sunday?  whoa.  WHOA.

*       *       *       *       *

happy almost easter, friends!  i have to go eat dinner now.

well, i’m home sick.  i’ve been feeling crummy all week, a mixture of headaches/migraines, waves of nausea, a cough/cold thing…just the definition of “under the weather”.  i was going to brave it and go back to school tomorrow, but old fitz (my clinical teacher) told me not to.  he’s demanding that way

so, as i sleep (and i mean SLEEP: i slept for 10 hours last night, 4 hours this morning, and have big plans to go to bed early tonight too) and get back to fighting strength, i thought i’d do a faux-monday morning ughpdate.  on thursday.  because i’m punctual like that.

1. school [high school].  i am actually excited about the research paper i’m doing with my junior class.  it’s a different kind of research paper, and i hope they get into it.  i have a mound of tests to grade from them, and a number of little and big things to plan for them which i’d like to get done so i can work on other things, but i’m interested to see what happens.  i begin also teaching the sophomores in the next few weeks, so i get to reread to kill a mockingbird as prep.  such a good book; i love rereading old favorites.  there’s a good chance i’d name my son atticus.

2. school [university]  renting my cap & gown.  that feels like such a big step!  check these statistics:

9 years after i started my first college classes
5 years after i went back to school, but took design classes that i don’t regret while i worked
4 years after i figured out what i wanted to do and worked full-time and went to school at night 3/4 time
2 years after i quit my job and went double time to catch up
1 year of student teaching…

i’ll graduate with my B.A. in English and a License in Secondary Education.  may 22nd, but i’m done on may 6th with my requirements.

[see also: long haul, marathon.]

but these 6 weeks, these 6 weeks are grueling: i have 6 weeks of teaching multiple classes, 6 papers to write to finish a class (plus a final), 2 enormous portfolios to complete, and various wedding-related paraphernalia to do.

who needs a drink?

3. the above reasons are why i’m nervous getting my cap and gown and being sick right now — i have a lot to do, and nearly no room for missteps, even bodily ones.

phew.

let’s talk about something else.

4. wedding.  this month we have tastings, more tastings, and our engagement photos.  our dear friend, jannelle, is doing our engagement photos.  i’m excited, because as you can see by her photos (go look NOW!) she’s incredibly talented, and fun to boot.

5. honeymoon.  well, because united airlines has some serious holes in their customer service, they cannot get us on a flight using our frequent-flier miles in june.  they can get us…in november.  or, they can get on a flight if we decide to redeem twice the amount of miles for one ticket [translate: we'd pay for one ticket, flier miles would pay for one].  we can’t afford that.  so, we’ve decided to book our european trip for our first anniversary next year, when we can use our miles and also hopefully have a bit more money saved up.

so that left us with where to go for our honeymoon in 60 days?

so, we’re going here:

SEATTLE!!!

now, i realize that seattle does not sound like the romantic glorious honeymoon spot for most people, but for us…it’s perfect.  all i really want to do is have a relaxing vacation with the least amount of stress and uncertainty, a vacation from the stress and uncertainty of both of our lives right now.  that means i don’t want to worry about where we’re staying, where to go, which direction to walk in, but yet have plenty of new things to do and see.

because seattle was my home for a year, it feels familiar and new all at once.

i love it there.  and thankfully, so does the french boyfriend.

so, seattle, here we come!  and since it’s so close, we will have time in town before and after the trip to just hang out and be married and together at our new home.

does that sound as good to you as it does to me?

heavenly.

6. my very lovely friends threw me a bridal shower last weekend.  all i have to do is look around the room at a bunch of wonderful girls who have all come together just because their excited about this new stage in my life, and i beam.  it doesn’t matter the stuff you get (although, i’m well on my way to having a FABULOUSLY set up kitchen, thank you ladies), the plans that don’t quite turn out right (right meg? , or the busy-ness of life…

having friends and family surround you with love and joy…is a gift.

7.  after a draining day last week, the french boyfriend came to hang out with me and brought me these:

so sweet, that boy.

8. that boy ran into an old friend of mine who apparently (and unexpectedly) reads this blog, and told him that he was tempted to call him the french boyfriend, since i call him that on here.  i thought that was pretty funny (hi, E!).

9. i miss the olympics.

10. 64 days until the wedding.  surreal.  34 days until i’m done with schoolwork.  50 days until my college graduation. surreal.  67 days until vacation.  ??? days until i get a job.  have i mentioned, surreal?

but to quote notting hill, nice.  surreal, but nice.

2. i watched the oscars last night, as i do every year.  i do enjoy steve martin and alec baldwin together, i don’t care for what.  we’ll have to add the hurt locker to our oscar movie watching list, which stalled out at godfather II, because we just don’t have that kind of time to watch 4 HOURS of the corleones, folks.

our hiatus also may have something to do with my commandeering our regular movie night with the harris’ to watch movies i have to preview for school.  what, the crucible isn’t fun friday night movie fare?

i have very merciful friends.

3. we had a lovely birthday dinner for my sister, brother and i at biaggi’s.  i love that family gatherings have resumed being fun and easy (easier) to plan.  say what you will about social media, but it makes getting a family of 7 + kids together WAY easier and with much less confusion.  i can’t believe my brother will be 30…because that means i’m a year away from it

4. sad about the miscarriage (sister-in-laws, not mine).  jules has talked about this already on her blog, so i won’t go into it, but it’s always more than a little sad for me each time.   i have sympathy sadness.

5. my juniors are (or at least some of them are) getting into the crucible.  it certainly makes teaching more fun when their attitude is more, shall i say, buoyant.  now if only i can figure more stuff out that makes that more possible…

6. speaking of good moments in teaching (as i’ve learned to really relish and enjoy them as they come and not worry about how quickly they can disappear), i unexpectedly had the principal of my school come observe me instead of my normal evaluator, and he gave me a stellar review.  gave very specific and helpful feedback, but also really liked it and wanted to come watch me again.  i really appreciate specific (and positive!) feedback from someone who says that he doesn’t impress easily.

today was a good day.

7. you know how boring it is to watch people take tests for 4 hours without being able to do ANYTHING except watch them?  in case you wanted to know, it’s worse than watching paint dry.  it’s like watching someone who is sleeping through hours of static on their television next to watching paint dry.

in case you were wondering.

8. the boy and i met with our marriage counselors tonight.  they seem very nice, and personality-wise we have a decent bit in common.  they had the results of our extensive personality tests, and there were exactly ZERO surprises.  they thought we were very well-suited for each other and we were exactly in the middle of the “balanced relationship” section.

i tend to agree.

9. speaking of the boy, i’ve been missing him a lot these days.  which is strange.  since we live in the same town, talk every day, and see each other multiple times in the week.  i think it’s just….time.   it’s just that time where it’s time to have our time be together.   yet, bizarre that we’ll be getting married in only 3 months.

10. yes.  all these things are true.

11.  the new village inn logo is horrible, but the interior redesign is actually nice.  which weirds me out.  i wanted to a world where the crappy village inn stays a cloudy, smoky, crappy circa 1977 village inn.  they had to get all redesigny on me.  i’m not saying this actually affects my life much, because being that the boy spent his childhood years at the kitchen table of his local village inn, we don’t frequent the village inn in town much.  or at all.  or ever.  but we had occasion to be in one lately, and it was weird.

12. spring break = 2 weeks.

13.  it bears repeating: SPRING BREAK = 2 WEEKS.  woooo!

14. scheduling some lovely engagement pictures with the even more lovely jannelle this month.  i am excited about this.

15.  hmmm.  yes.  that’s all i got.  15 is a nice round figure.

Outside my window… is an ugly steel window well grate.  Oh, I should say that I’m in my parent’s basement, otherwise known as “my apartment” or “the well-appointed hovel where my parents graciously let me stay so I can finish college” or, if we’re judging by looks right now, my “refuge camp”.  It looks sort of sunny out, though, and when I go upstairs to take in christmas decorations and way too much chex mix, it looks lovely outside.

I am thinking… about the things I need to get done today, which all have nothing to do with Christmas.  Over the years I have ended up being very well-prepared for Christmas.  This has not come because I am an uber-responsible person, but more because I really love gift-giving, and I need time to think about what might be a good gift for people.  So, I start early.  I also knew how poor I would be this December (although I grossly underestimated that one), so I planned early.

So instead of Christmas shopping, I am doing pesky administrative things pertaining to medical bills (boo!), student loans and passports, and then moving on to writing literature papers.  What fun!

I am thankful for… so many things.  Really.  I love being able to spend copious amounts of time in proximity to my parents at their cozy home, for friends we get to casually hang out with all the time because they live half a block from us, for family living in the same city, for a life that I like, for a boy that I love immensely, for being engaged, for these mini-snickerdoodle cookies sent to my family by my uncle and aunt.  Bursting with thanks, really.

I am wearing… my pajamas still.  I attempted to get going and dressed much earlier, but I only was able to accomplish the get going part.  Excuse me while I change into actual clothes.

I am remembering… a time when Christmas felt entirely more sad and melancholy than it has in some time.  so glad it’s different now.

I am going… to get things done today!  I’m channeling my inner Thomas the tank engine:  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…

I am currently reading… The Color of Water, a memoir for the Juniors I will be co-teaching next semester.  I am also reading a very dry anthology of early American literature that I wish I could just learn by osmosis; however, the pages would get awfully sticky that way.

I am hoping… that my friend Sara gets to have her baby soon!

On my mind… many. many wedding details are on my mind, as well as school.  But currently, I’m being diverted by looking at hotels in Europe…J

Noticing that… I think I am a productive person in late morning and early afternoon.  Early morning is not so great, and late afternoon is not so great.  But late morning and early afternoon I am READY TO GO.

Pondering these words… “I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unnerving ease. It begins in your mind, always … so you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don’t, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.” –Yann Martel, Life of Pi

From the kitchen… oh, I’ve gotten to do some lovely cooking and baking this week.  As it turns out, I love to cook – selectively.  When I have time, my own kitchen, food that I’ve picked out…then I love it.  Maybe at some point in my life I will learn to love it when I have to do it in a compulsory fashion.  I HOPE.  I picked out recipes to make for my family and my love, so this week it was homemade chex mix, stuffed mushroom caps, the pioneer woman’s wonderfully ridiculous steak with blue cheese onion sauce (Oh.My.Gosh…this just about killed us last night, it was so good), California eggs benedict coming up…delightful.

Around the house… get the bed made, finish some laundry, get my pesky administrative things done, make some headway on my literature papers (they are neverending, I tell you) watch my Paper Heart documentary that I’ve been looking forward too, and helping my mom with cooking for our family’s Christmas celebration which will occur tomorrow!  Oh, and cutting the wedding guest list down to a number we can afford, which is SO.PAINFUL.TO.DO.  how is it that we know and love so many people?  I suppose this is a great problem to have.

One of my favorite things~ snickerdoodles!  The cookie, and the name!  I think I’d order it just to be able to say it.  SNICKER! DOODLE!

From my picture journal…  these are gifts I wrapped for the boy.  Have I mentioned how much I like to wrap gifts?  I do.  I like the presentation as much as the giving of special things. I am a sucker for good packaging, it’s true.  Anyway, this year I wrapped a few in magazines and a few in an old road atlas, and he loved them.

happy week everyone, and merry christmas!

Outside my window… it is fa-reezing.  i’m looking at a snowy slushy mess from the loveliness of my sister’s living room, surrounded by christmas decorations, a bouncy dog, and my nieces who are relating all of the high school/middle school drama happenings.

I am thinking…about my wedding dress. (more on that later, i’m sure.)   about the food for the wedding.  about who we are going to find for the photography for the wedding.  can you tell i’m thining about the wedding?   i’m also thinking about the assignments i have left to do in the last weeks of the semester.  i’m thinking about the holidays, and how i’m going to wrap presents this year.  i traditionally like brown paper with string, but i’m thinking something different this year.  there is this japanese rice tape that comes in all sorts of colors that would be fun to experiment with for christmas presents.

I am hearing…my niece discuss the drama and scold her sister for eating 4 cupcakes in one day.  they are also yelling at the dog, who is CRAZY.

Some highlights from the week…i had a good teaching day on friday.  i did an apostrophe review for my 7th graders, complete with a who wants to be a millionaire game show with prizes.  the principal observed me, and it went well…and was fun.  i needed to have a good teaching day, because as a student teacher, they are RARE   this is one of those things where you have to put a lot of work in before it starts getting a lot of fun, and i’m in the work part.

i had a fun time wedding dress trying on with a few bridesmaids and meg (the unofficial bridesmaid) on friday evening.  there was nobody in the store, because apparently a wedding dress store is not the happening date location.  it was fun, we found a lovely dress, they all cried, we laughed, and then i had a good dinner and chat with friend sarah.  i heart my friends.  i was telling sarah that when i imagined my wedding, the biggest thing i wanted was a bunch of people to share it with and do all the weddingy things with.  i am really blessed (and i don’t really use that term much) by my friends this week.

I am thankful for…my mother, my french boyfriend and the fact that now i never have to go to holiday parties by myself, and five guys burgers.  seriously, people.

From the kitchen…i think i’m going to omit this one from now on, because i’m pretty much never cooking these days.  i believe the only thing coming from the kitchen is stouffer’s mac & cheese and most recently, a cupcake.

I am wearing…the only pair of boots i own, my first grown-up shoe purchase from seattle in 2003.  and that’s it.

just kidding.  i’m wearing my rolled up jeans which i had to put on AFTER my boots because they are tighter at the bottom, my favorite black dress that i’m seriously considering having a seamstress make me copies of, a black cardigan and pigtails.  socks?  red, along with my bright red peacoat and grey scarf/mittens.  i’m very very toasty, and only a little bit piratey looking (the boots).

I am reading…entirely too many wedding blogs.  i need to cut myself off.  i’m also rereading roald dahl’s autobiography, “Boy”, to my boy aloud on saturday mornings.  i’m avoiding reading my textbooks, although i need to start reading them.  i’m still reading made to stick, which is phenomenal.

I am hoping…to be able to get through the first chunk of american literature papers quickly.  otherwise, i get distracted and discouraged.  i need this literature monkey to get off my back.

One of my favorite things…is thinking about the upcoming holiday break i have.  i’m done with being in the schools this friday, and done with my classes next friday, and i’m looking forward to time with the french boyfriend, the family, and going to craig to see a bunch of his friends for christmas.

A few plans for the rest of the week…getting done with middle school and my assignments for the year.  we’re also planning on getting our caterer nailed down and hoping to move forward on photographers.  and, oh yes, a wednesday night date.

A picture thought I’m sharing…

this is a picture from my niece fred and i’s recent trip to see wicked the musical.  she’s lovely, and certainly not allowed to be too sexy for her shirt until she’s at least 60.  but i’ve spending more time with my nieces lately, and that makes me very very happy.