if you recall, i’ve been looking forward to several movies all summer, and this is the last of the trio that we saw.

oh, it did not disappoint.

it actually ended up being the worst movie i could think of to go to after a particular relationship conversation, me not wanting to see a dreamy relationship set to music that, in that particular mood, seemed elusive and irritating.

it ended up being perfection.

i love the movies; i do.  the boy and i share this, and i’m so glad.

epic weekend.

one of my favorite songs from the movie (albeit difficult since all of them were lovely), from the first lady of france.  they’ve got something going for them, those french: Quelqu’un m’a dit – Carla Bruni

my summary skills are spotty at best.  it’s a particular skill, and a useful one at that.  it’s why we love quotes, song lyrics, poetry, as it captures a world of meaning and poignancy in a form fit for your pocket, where you can take it with you every day.  it’s something i ask students to do in classes, and it’s something i am asked to do often, but really…i’m not always the best at distilling the art of an entire work (book, film, the television series the bachelorette) into a bumper sticker synopsis. or, as the former boss of the wife of my former co-worker insisted on his employees admitting rather than blaming something else:

i just don’t make it my highest priority.

you know, in case you were wondering why my movie reviews are relayed in the post-movie conversations between the boy and i.

also? i like the conversations we have, and imagined parts of them.  he’s a perfect straight man in our duo, in every sense of the word.

after this movie, however, we sat in silence for awhile.  no conversation for a weighty movie, for a few minutes.  our conversation after hopped many continents and universes, prompted by the emotions of the film, and with that i will refrain from boring you.

instead, you lucky reader, i give the bits of the movie that kept rattling around my head the next day.   the ones that cause time to stand still just a minute as they clarify portions of your life.  no context given; this is all i have for you.  go with it:

Jeannine: Can you ever break the ball?
Conrad Jarrett: You can’t break the ball. Can’t break the floor. Can’t break anything in a bowling alley. And that’s what I like about bowling alleys. Can’t even break the record.

* * * *

Conrad Jarrett: Anyway.
Jeannine: Hm, what?
Conrad Jarrett: Oh just anyway. It’s a conversation starter.
Jeannine: Hm, catchy.
Conrad Jarrett: I knew you’d like it, I’ve been working on it all day.*

*this exchange, by the way, could be a verbatim transcript of more conversations between the boy and i than you could imagine.

* * * *

Beth Jarrett: Calvin? Why are you crying? Can I, uh… can I get you something?
Calvin Jarrett: I don’t…
Beth Jarrett: What did you say? Calvin, what did you say? Tell me!
Calvin Jarrett: You are beautiful. And you are unpredictable. But you’re so cautious. You’re determined, Beth; but you know something? You’re not strong. And I don’t know if you’re really giving. Tell me something. Do you love me? You really love me?
Beth Jarrett: I feel the way I’ve always felt about you.
Calvin Jarrett: We would have been all right if there hadn’t been any mess. But you can’t handle mess. You need everything neat and easy. I don’t know. Maybe you can’t love anybody. It was so much Buck. When Buck died, it was like you buried all your love with him, and I don’t understand that, I just don’t know, I don’t… maybe it wasn’t even Buck; maybe it was just you. Maybe, finally, it was the best of you that you buried. But whatever it was… I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what we’ve been playing at. So I was crying. Because I don’t know if I love you any more. And I don’t know what I’m going to do without that.*

*this scene, this created a stillness in the room that was palpable, weighted with sadness.  i love movies that can do that to you.

* * * * *

so, what is this movie about?  well…ordinary people.  the best kind.

me: so, what’s the verdict?

boy: how is it possible that after 3 hours, i don’t care about any of these characters?

me: i don’t know.   i just kept watching, hoping that something would happen that made sense or that i would give a crap about.

boy: yeah.  perhaps it would have been better had they just cut it in half?

me: and titled it “be patient” instead of “the english patient”.

boy: yeah.  well, it’s 3 hours of my life i’m not getting back again.  fargo should have won instead.  even jerry maguire was better, and that’s saying something.

me: i agree.

[long pause]

boy: what are you doing?

me: i’m trying to remember a time before we started watching the movie…i can’t.

boy: such a good movie.  how did you like it?

me: loved it.  and i might have a small crush on marlon brando now.  is that okay with you?

boy:  i have a small crush on marlon brando.  so, yeah. as long as we can share.

me: united over our mutual crush on a film actor but only in one particular movie role from 1954.  our relationship is really grounded in reality.

boy: indeed.

2. i thought i had only 3 weeks left of this semester, but it’s really 4.  it is just at that point in time where i need a break.

3. with the sun going down earlier along with my days filling up quicker, the boy and i are finding that it will be about 6:30 in the evening, and we both are ready to go to bed.  we’ve eaten dinner, we’ve watched some tv, chatted, and our internal clocks think it is about 10.  then we look at the clock and declare ourselves really really old.  what’s with that?

4. i am writing this from the aisle of computers in the library packed between the federal registers (government) and US forest service manuals. the keyboard is very clicky-clacky.

5. brought chinese food over a few times to tucker, julie and the kids this weekend – impromptu visits are some of my favorite things, especially with my brother’s family.

6. we saw the movie rachel getting married this weekend.  it was definitely unusual, kind of like a character study, and shot with hand-held cameras, which was at first a very nauseating choice, but then made sense once the movie unfolded.  there is no way i could possibly recap what the story is about, but there is a wedding (rachel’s, as the title indicates) and, although incredibly unusual, the wedding is remarkably warm and vibrant.  this is what i liked most about the movie.  that, and that the wedding vows were short and genuine, included a neil young song, and that the bride and groom thanked each other for marrying them.

7. auntie pasta is the name of the dish at shuga’s, lest we think i don’t know how to say antipasta.

8. never did get around to listening to the first song of songs sermon from mars hill, but the boy was referencing something in one of them, and it struck me as fairly significant and something i had literally never heard before.  this is why i am spoiled by my seattle church.  anyway, i’m very excited to listen to them together.

9. i get my new (old) desktop in the next week, and i’m very excited.  excited about organization and being able to post music on here.  i’d explain how all of that goes together, but i just can’t be bothered right now.

10. my brain is very very fuzzy right now.

unremarkably,

sara