how i feel about it sometimes: the eleanor roosevelt explains how i feel about everything in my life edition.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

— Eleanor Roosevelt

* * * * *

right now, nearly everything feels like something i cannot do. i’m reaching out and embracing the entire thing. okay, embrace is a strong word, connoting a warm greeting. let’s say, i’m more just peeking through my fingers covering my face, holding my breath, and running into this tidal wave with full force. and when i mean that i feel this way about most everything, i am. not. kidding.

everyone else in my teaching program says they are excited and don’t feel nervous at all.

LIARS. all of them.

and since when did become the sign of strength to say that you weren’t scared of anything? granted, anxiety can get out of control, and anxiety isn’t faith, in my opinion. but saying that you are completely unprepared and very nervous about things yet making yourself do them because you know that is how you change, that is how things are changed, and learning to love it a little bit, and love the god who controls it all?

that’s the stuff.