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september 24.

24 September 2010
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Outside my window…I am listening to the sounds of the marching band practice for the high school homecoming assembly later this afternoon.  Alas, the reason I am home instead of at school pertains to having a conference last night, today and this weekend, so I am catching up on some work this morning and heading to the conference this afternoon.  I can see students milling about in the parking lot (my, I live VERY close to the school I teach at!), all dressed in school colors.  I like homecoming week.

I am thinking…about what the conference teacher was talking about last night.  he is the high-energy (high being a gross understatement) excitable teacher who has an immense amount to say about the importance about balanced and trusting relationships coming from a balanced and trusting teacher.  very interesting, and i’m trying to digest it all and not feel overwhelmed at how much i have to learn.  when did it change for me that learning an immense amount became an overwhelming and scary place instead of an exciting one?

I am thankful for…my lovely, lovely husband working in the next room.  since he is officially now a full-time freelance graphic designer and painter, he works from home or his studio instead of having to go into work anywhere.  because of this, and his immense desire to serve me, he packs my lunch each morning and (get this) walks me to school every. single. day.  there isn’t enough gratitude in the world to be thankful for this person.  i’m thankful for my mother who calls me several times a week.  i’m thankful for one of the best haircuts i’ve nearly ever had given to me this week by my friend meg.  seriously, it rules.  i’m thankful for a really excellent department at school, including one other freshmen teacher who offered to plan with me for our classes so it cuts the workload down a ton, a really encouraging and supportive department chair who tells me things like they hired me because i’m a good teacher and that everything else just sorts itself out, and for another colleague/friend who takes me to lunch and lets me talk.  and also recommends really good conferences to me 🙂

From the learning rooms… oh, the answer to this could fill volumes.  i think i’m learning most about how to really be me and to be okay with the struggle of learning.  it’s like an olympic event — i want the headlines, i want the final events, i want the podiums and i want the final statistics…but i don’t like the daily struggle, exercise, practice and uncertainty about how all the work i’m doing will end up.  i’m learning most of how to not just cope/deal with this (because that is a dying life, for sure) but how to embrace it and (gasp!) actually be excited/energized by this prospect.  it’s really my only option, otherwise i become a teacher-drop-out-statistic and a pretty miserable person.

From the kitchen…come muffins that my husband baked this week!  we’ve still not quite figured out our system of store-going and cooking, so we’ve eaten out a bit more than we had intended.  all things considered, i think that’s a sacrifice i’m willing to deal with.  however, baking things makes me happy, and i was given homework to do things that i have fun doing this weekend amidst my conference, so baking chocolate chip cookies will definitely make it to the list today.

I am wearing… my favorite gap skinny jeans, my shirt from the over the rhine show that says “comparison is the thief of joy” (oh, this shirt speaks to me), a long sleeve thin charcoal cardigan from forever 21 that i wish i ordered about 20 of, and black furry slippers.  i’m cold today!

I am creating…lesson plans to teach freshmen about narrative writing/story telling.  good times, yes?

I am going…to ride my bike to the library to drop off books/pick up a book that i hope i have time to read, work some more, and then off to another evening of my conference.

I am reading…stephen king’s book about his writing process, anne lamott’s book on writing called “bird by bird”, the most recent issue of vanity fair.  i have so many books i want/need to read, and so not enough time to read it.

I am hoping…for clarity.  for more opportunities to play games with my husband.  for more time with my family.  that we find good carafes and trays at the antique store that will work for us.  for the pieces to start coming together.  to stop being so sick in the mornings.

I am hearing…the sounds of Noah and the Whale come out of my speakers, followed by the National album.  so good, these bands.

Around the house…I see laundry that needs to be done and papers to be filed.  i can’t seem to work without things being organized first, so that’s always task # 1.  i can also see my wedding terrarium that is doing rather well and looking mighty gorgeous after i trimmed it this weekend.

One of my favorite things…is substitute teachers 😉

A few plans for the rest of the week: conference all weekend, my cousin’s wedding on sunday, lots of teaching teaching teaching this week, and discovery of at least 1-2 things i have fun doing.  someone asked me what i do for fun yesterday…and i seriously drew a blank.  it’s not that i don’t have these things, but the fact that i couldn’t answer a simple question like that tells me something.  the husband and i talked about it last night, and we came to the conclusion that we have lots of pleasant times, but overall we think we’re not having enough fun.  we tend towards the stable, productive and pleasant because it seems sometimes that fun is the enemy to that state…but i think we’re mistaken 🙂  we’re going to find out.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing…our wedding photos finally all came together with editing, and i find them very lovely to look at, so here’s one that i particularly like.

(thanks to saralo and the simple women’s daybook for inspiration)

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One Comment leave one →
  1. 24 September 2010 4:25 pm

    that’s right, i read it all. nice one here. fun is one thing i don’t have enough of either. my parents didn’t raise me with much fun. well, my mom tried. anyway, play is necessary for proper brain function. i saw it on a ted talk you could probably find if you wanted to.

    have a great weekend full of fun!

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