h.r. puffy foot.

we’ve taken to calling my A+ ankle sprain “the puffy foot” or sometimes, if we’re feeling polite, “mr. puffy foot”.  or, h.r. puffy foot after the bizarre children’s cartoon character of the late 60’s.

although i’ve been off the heavy drugs for a few days now, occasional episodes of pain cause my mind to melt and leak out of my ears, and then after i take something for it, the brain mush then detours to find its way out of my mouth.

hence, the iterations of “the puffy foot” that have come into being lately:

mr. puffy foot

senor puffy foot (for that south-of-the-border flair)

herr puffy fuss (pronounced foooose, like the germans do)

for-the-love-what-is-at-the-end-of-my-leg

and, despite my busy schedule of trolling the internet, napping, doing some work, watching netflix, reading, looking pitifully hungry to remind the husband to feed me at regular intervals (he’s a rather unpredictable eater), i decided to get all technically correct (at least internet-correct, as we all know the info on this machine can seriously range) and get the following:

die geschwollene fuss (note the AWESOME german adjective for puffy which sounds an awful lot like the word ‘swollen’)

el pie hinchado (spanish)

le pied gonflé (the french, which makes my hunchbackfoot sound rather like a tasty soufle, no?)

or

de gezwollen voet (in dutch, which sounds like the german translation got a little drunk, sloppy and chatty)

of course, this is the internet, so all of these phrases could just be
translations of “this injury has made the girl go ROUND THE BEND.”