re:read
this is bouncing around my thoughts tonight, having underlined it years ago when i read this book, and having reread it recently:
“the matter is difficult to put into words. for fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundation, such as you feel when you are brought face to face with your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words with which to speak of it. so you must fight hard to express it. you must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. because if you don’t, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.”
— life of pi, by yann martel
tell me what you think, any response at all. turn thinks into thunks, and then do tell. top priority.
sara, darling. 
For me, the more I talk about it, the more intense it gets. But avoiding it doesn’t fix it either. Surrendering it is best.
I avoid. I don’t know why. Maybe because
if I talk about it, it will become real
Or if I talk about it I fear people will think my fears are ridiculous.
interesting, interesting.