and chipotle is chip-oat-lay, for the record.
our Unnamed High School has announcements every morning, broadcast over the ancient (and very loud, i might add) PA system. so, after some music and the obligatory pledging allegiance to the flag. (side note: we NEVER did this in high school. did this start after 9/11?) then, a senior student and sometimes another student reads the announcement. they usually do a pretty clear job, occasionally stumbling over some words or losing their place in the script. tuesday morning this week, i’m sitting with my sophomores listening to the announcements detailing where certain clubs were meeting this week, and we hear this:
“the gay, straight, trans ALIENS are meeting in the library this week during A lunch.”
aliens, people.
cue my jim halpert look.
we have a gay-straight ALLIANCE club at the school. or, i should say, we used to before someone couldn’t pronounce their words and called them aliens over the announcements on accident. just kidding.
job security, folks, job security.
sara, darling. 
Oh, boy…how in the world did you not laugh your head off?
the kiddos who do the middle school announcements always butcher them. can’t someone make them do a rehearsal first? it’s a paragraph worth of reading. come one, folks. serious job security. agh.