i’ll take door number three, please.

question: what do the following items have in common?

a potted aloe vera plant (alive, but on its way out)

an eyelash curler

a 3×5 glossy photo collage of 16 faces of the same baby

a dust buster

an empty terra cotta plant

possible answers:

a) things found in my friend sarah’s daughter’s bed last week

b) items on my shopping list

c) presents i got on my last birthday party, indicating that i should no longer have birthday parties involving people giving me presents

d) items that have appeared, like magic, on our front door step over the last month

e) suggested gifts for dads for father’s day 2011

i’ll give you a minute to ponder this.

if you answered A, you’d be close, but not quite; although, the story of the things in aria’s bed is a pretty amusing one that i should tell you later, hopefully accompanying illustrations from

if you answered C, i’d seriously just stop having birthdays.  and friends.  full stop.  but no.

if you answered E, i’d wonder what crazy-ass gift guides you’ve been reading.  you should stop reading everything the internet machine tells you to.  just because it’s a link on your screen does not mean you have to click it.  i know the police says “click it or ticket”, but they’re not talking about this.

it’s D.

D.

which means all of these items have appeared at our front door or on the shelf right next to it.  this location is important to note, because it means that in no stretch of the imagination has someone inadvertently placed or dropped the item there.  these items were purposefully (to what purpose, who knows) put there.

it’s like a magician’s mystery box, opening up my front door is.

it reminds me of when i was living with a roommate several years ago, and i opened the front door to a huge stuffed dog that was nearly as tall as i am and (thankfully) much bigger around.  i introduced myself, of course, and then invited it in.  it just stood there, like an idiot, until my roommate noticed the card for her dangling from his neck and proceeded to hoist it over her shoulder (she was rather short, so the dog was actually taller than her) and carry it in to her room.

that was the strangest thing i had ever seen on my doorstep.

until now.

how bizarre, right?

*extra points to you if, in your head or aloud, you started singing OMC’s annoyingly catchy hit of the mid-90’s “how bizarre“.

[editor’s note: since press time, the following items have also appeared: a paper airplane and some keys.]