i hope that mine comes with a big yellow bow.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it “The Present”.
— Eleanor Roosevelt
open letter to the environment.
dear environment (attn: water resources),
i know i shouldn’t waste water. it’s very irresponsible to just let the water run.
however, i promise you that it was very necessary for me to sit in the shower for a half an hour this afternoon. i really just needed it to rain.
i hope you understand.
regards,
sara
seeing this all-in-one card reminded me of how much i like cards. unlike many normal people, i buy stationery, cards, notecards, etc. in advance so that i always have something to write on in case i like to write letters.
my current favorite is my kate spade correspondence cards i bought last year:
however, they sadly do not play well with my typewriter. when the boy and i would go on trips, i would steal the hotel stationery and then write him letters on it weeks or months later. there were these lovely striped blank note cards (like these, minus the thank you part) that my brother and sister-in-law gave me for christmas two years ago that i have nearly used up recently.
i love correspondence.
i have dreams of having my own stationery one day – both correspondence cards and letters, on which i can jot quick letters to friends or thank you notes to acquaintances, or type long letters of events that would be far outdated upon the time of receipt.
on that note, the boy and i were shopping at one of the cute boutique stores downtown where i buy my second favorite pens (after the aforementioned sharpie pens, which are less colorful but more utilitarian for my current writing needs of transcribing college lectures).
as we strolled through the paper section, i noticed a set of cards that i really liked. upon looking at them, however, they were monetarily prohibitive (read: way expensive for cards). all the cheaper ones, however, were too plain or uptight.
so, what to do?
have your amazingly talented boyfriend make personalized cards for you.
they’re not quite done; a few tweaks here and there, some wording changes and decisions about my name, but here’s a quick peek at their fabulousity:
now, imagine these on white or mustardy green cards, with green or brown envelopes.
delightful. letters just never go out of style.
monday ughpdate.
i don’t have much to say today.
there’s a bit on my mind, some heavy things on my heart, and a general wish to shake my etch-a-sketch upside around and erase erase erase.
but, the phrase that keeps running through my head is
“count your blessings; name them one by one.”
so that’s the theme of today.
it’s not a fraudulent attempt to overpower my ghastly tendencies by the power of positive thinking.
no, that will never work.
it’s not an attempt to pretend that nothing challenging and hard is happening, that i am not being stretched like a human gumby until i think my arms are going to detach.
i was never really good at pretend.
i think, what it is, is the idea to look at the realities of god’s world, and not my own. it’s all inclusive. it’s the blessings and joys, and the justice and conviction that forces change; it’s the mercy and forgiveness and the impetus to change and be changed.
i am no stranger to looking at the challenging things in life.
it’s partly my melancholic temperament, and partly my desire to have a really really good life.
i am also no stranger to looking at the small delights and beautiful things in the world.
that’s the joy in me and my optimistic hope.
just usually not at the same time.
sigh.
a monday after a week off that felt like one minute in time is a good time as ever to start, so here’s the update:
1. today i got up, slightly discouraged and wishing i didn’t have to go anywhere. but upstairs i went, greeted by my mother who announced that she had made me oatmeal and prepared a healthy salad for my lunch ready to go. i am so fortunate to have someone who looks after me and does things to help me live my life despite my many failings. thank you, mom.
2. it was hail, HAIL PEOPLE, and snow on the way to school. it was cold, and it was going to make me late. i trudged up the hill to school since i couldn’t find a closer parking spot. because of my glorious scarf/hat the boy gave me for christmas and my mittens, i was very warm. i got into class 15 minutes late, to find that because of the storm our professor had postponed the quiz he was giving (that i was prepared for) to allow people to get in from the storm. because of the thoughtful present, i was warm. because of the thoughtful professor, i got to take a quiz instead of a zero. thankfulness.
3. my pens had been running out, and i went to the bookstore where they had just stocked up on my favorite pen (sharpie no-bleed thin points) that they were previously out of, and i have enough money to buy them. thankful.
4. i live in the same town as my family. blessings galore. it means i got to see addie turn 2, and have a great time at a backyard barbecue. it means i got to see my sister for lunch and talk to her on the phone. it means i got to hug my dad and mom this week. it means i got to hang out with my cool older teenage nieces, and hear all about hayley’s first kiss in person. i got to spend a fun evening with the whole family celebrating our birthdays and having fondue to eat amidst peals of laughter. i got to spend some time watching addie and taking walks and playing in the snow. thinking back on living alone in seattle and making the decision to move back to be close to my family, this is what i had in mind.
the road to get to these times is sometimes bumpy – misunderstandings, miscommunication, hurt feelings – but my family always seems to triumph and grow closer, and i am so thankful for that.
5. they had the kind of iced tea that i like in the school cafeteria. (unsweetened black decaf).
6. i’m seeing my nutrionist/naturopath today to start to sort out my mood issues (understatement) and lack of energy. to have someone who has an idea on how to help you, and a friend/mom who is tireless to find solutions – these are hopefilled blessings. this means that people are behind you and that there is a way out.
7. the boy has been meeting people at church, and we are slowly but surely getting connected and finding people we like and ministry that suits us. a joy to have him be my partner in this. he’s also incredibly patient. did i mention he’s really gracious, and patient? he is. patient.
8. i have really comfortable and cute shoes on. they are brown and blue and don’t make my feet hurt.
9. i get to see my sisterinlaw/friend (i need a new word!) julie tonight while we ride bikes. good for my mind, good for my body, good all the way around. i am able to afford a membership to the gym that allows me to take classes and do these kinds of things instead of having to run around outside in the cold and wet by myself.
10. i get the chance to not have to work and go to school full time. school is very very overwhelming to me right now. the next three weeks are gearing up for my senior comp exam, which allows me to graduate. however, so do all the assignments for my classes. so i can’t really forgo either one. i worry about it. i live with some decent anxiety that does not prevent me from getting these things done, but it makes it feel as thought i have elephants sitting on me while doing these things. fortunately, i have a god who cares. he says:
“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”
or, this version of it, which i rather like as well:
” Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”
don’t think for a second that i don’t have that written out and pasted everywhere my little eyes can see it right now.
11. i have a busy schedule today. glad to have a life where i am not idle or bored.
choose to praise, praise, praise, praise, praise, friends. have a happy monday. like things today. i give you permission.
you’re a genius all the time.
The Essentials, according to Jack Kerouac, in his own words:
- Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
- Submissive to everything, open, listening
- Try never get drunk outside yr own house
- Be in love with yr life
- Sonething that you feel will find its own form
- Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
- Blow as deep as you want to blow
- Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
- The unspeakable visions of the individual
- No time for poetry but exactly what is
- Visionary tics shivering in the chest
- In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
- Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
- Like Proust be an old teahead of time
- Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
- The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
- Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
- Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
- Accept loss forever
- Believe in the holy contour of life
- Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
- Dont think of words when you stop but to see picture better
- Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
- No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
- Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
- Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
- In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
- Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
- You’re a Genius all the time
- Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven
( via dailymeh)
i’m thinking even if you only subscribed to numbers 1, 4 and 29, life would be much more grand.
hear this today.
Many people need desperately to receive this message:
‘I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them.
You are not alone.”
— Kurt Vonnegut (via quote-book :: psychotherapy)
the fun in functional.
there is almost nothing i love more than office supplies. in fact, that was why i was obsessed with working in an office for the longest time, until i got an office job and realized that i would actually have to, you know, work there and not just stare lovingly at my stapler or buy more pens from the catalogue.
back to school shopping was my favorite: trapper keepers, books, organizers, highlighters, etc. it turns out that despite being decently unorganized in practice, i actually love being organized and having organization stuff.
i swoon over binder clips, people.
here are the latest additions to my office, from one of the best places from which to buy organizational stuff (stuff! STUFF! i heart stuff!):
official to-do list, as the yellow pad of paper gave way too much space to add things, and caused me to feel entirely overwhelmed. much more bite-size now, thank you.
almost got this instead:
but didn’t. but definitely purchased these dandy file folders:
and of course, blah blah blah as well. but only because these were unavailable:
hooray for stuff!
quote:
You’re so fond of gossip you don’t give the truth a chance to put its pants on.”
things that are charming me.
twitter love from amazon’s mp3 collection. each day they run a deal on one of their cds that you can download. 2 bucks gets you some good tunes, downloaded to your computer and automatically added to your itunes. also, they are straight up mp3s with no drm (digital rights management) like itunes, so you can post them online, share them, etc. with no problems.
making me happy today.
me: thanks for the tea, dear. you can just set it over here next to my book.
boy: your book’s called Fasting, Feasting? what’s that for?
me: a book for my english senior comprehensive exam.
boy: oh. i thought it was a book from your nutritionist.
* * * *
we are currently in our faux-blizzard, which we prefer to endure on the couch after going out to get some hot chocolate. the store actually had no hot chocolate (what the heck? in colorado?) so instead we got chocolate chip cookies to go with english breakfast tea (with milk & sugar) that the boy just brought me.
and if i hadn’t caught a ride with my sister down to his house, he would have come and gotten me just so i could spend the blizzard with him. pretty great, he is.
this should hopefully make up for the fact that he’s sitting next to me biting his fingernails, a habit that is about ready to make my head explode. maybe. pass me another cookie, and i’ll think about it.
grin.
sara, darling. 
